Cold Emailing HR? Use This Formula (Not a 4-Paragraph Monologue)
Look, cold emailing HR is hard. You’re selling a product that could genuinely improve retention, reduce burnout, or support working caregivers — but you’re still getting ghosted.
Here’s why: HR pros are getting buried in AI-generated spam. Their inboxes are filled with cold emails that all blur together:
“Hope this finds you well.”
“I’m the founder of [thing] solving [buzzword].”
“Do you have 30 minutes next week?”
Yawn. Delete, delete, delete.
If you want to cut through the noise, your email can’t sound like it was written by ChatGPT and sprayed to a list of 500. You need to sound like a real person who understands their world — and can actually help.
Here’s how we teach our startup clients to do that (and how we write for them behind the scenes).
The PACT Formula: Your Cold Outreach Power Tool
PACT =
Personalized Hook (like really, really personalized)
Affirm Their Priorities
Credibility Boost
Tactical CTA
Each piece earns its keep. The goal? Build just enough trust and curiosity to earn a response — not to make the sale in one email. AKA — don’t try and propose on the first date.
P = Personalized Hook (Go Way Beyond First Name)
This is where 90% of cold outreach fails. Because "personalized" doesn’t mean inserting [First Name] or [Company] into a template.
It means actually showing them you did your homework. That you're not another founder blindly guessing what HR cares about.
Strong personalization often includes:
A relevant trigger event (e.g., “Saw your company just got listed as a Best Place to Work for Parents — huge congrats!”)
A recent post or interview they were featured in (“Loved your quote on prioritizing caregiver benefits in that recent SHRM piece — totally aligned.”)
Something human and specific you noticed (“Saw you’re hiring a Director of Employee Experience. I did something similar at [Company] and I know that role will be busy come open enrollment. I’m brainstorming people in my network who might be a good candidate.”)
If it takes you under 60 seconds to write this intro, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Better: “Saw your company just launched a new caregiver policy—LOVE the flexibility component. We’ve been seeing a huge uptick in interest there, especially post open enrollment.”
Worse: “Noticed you work at [Company] and wanted to reach out…”
Takeaway: Treat the first line like the subject line of a one-on-one message. If it doesn’t instantly prove you’re a human who cares, it won’t get read.
A = Affirm Their Priorities (Not Yours)
Once you’ve opened with that hyper-relevant line, shift the spotlight directly onto them.
This is not the time to go into “Here’s what our platform does...” Instead, show that you understand the pressures and priorities they’re navigating.
Example: “We’re hearing from a lot of HR teams that while there’s leadership support for caregiver benefits, there’s still confusion around what solutions are actually scalable—and how to get employee adoption.”
Use their language. If they call their people team “Talent,” mirror that. If they’ve talked publicly about retention, lean into it. When in doubt: Speak to pain points they already know exist.
C = Credibility Boost (Quick & Believable)
This is your proof point—but make it quick. Just one line that shows you're not some rando in their inbox.
A few credibility levers:
Trusted logos or clients (“We’re working with teams at [Company] and [Company]…”)
Traction data (“60% of our users log in weekly”)
Press/features (“We were just featured in Fast Company’s piece on future of work startups”)
Personal founder credibility (“Built by a team from [relevant org or experience]”)
Pro tip: If you don’t have enterprise logos yet, lean on mission alignment or social proof. Even just showing up at the right conference (e.g., “We met a ton of HR leaders at SHRM who voiced similar challenges…”) adds weight.
T = Tactical CTA (Not a Calendar Link, Okay?)
Let’s get honest for a second: Asking for a 30-minute call in your very first email is like asking someone to go on a weekend getaway before you’ve even had coffee.
HR folks are allergic to vague “chat” invites. Instead, offer one next step that feels useful and commitment-free.
Try:
“Want me to send a 1-pager showing how this plugs into your benefits stack?”
“I can send sample rollout comms if helpful — HR teams often ask for that early.”
“Happy to intro your broker if you’d prefer to go that route.”
Make it sound helpful, specific, and respectful of their time.
Real Example: Before and After
Let’s put this in action. Meet “KidCovered,” a fictional startup offering last-minute child care benefits for working parents.
[BAD] The Founder-Forward Version
Hi [First Name],
I’m the founder of KidCovered, a platform helping working parents manage backup care needs more effectively. We integrate seamlessly with existing systems and offer ROI through reduced absenteeism and improved DEI. I’d love to hop on a 30-minute call to tell you more—does this week work?
No personalization. No empathy. No clear next step. Just a features dump and a pitch.
[GOOD] The PACT Version
Hey [First Name]—saw your team was just named one of the Best Places to Work for Parents. HUGE congrats. That flexibility policy you rolled out last quarter? 👏👏👏 I sent the Press Release to my husband as soon as I saw it because we ALWAYS talk about this sort of thing.
We’ve been hearing from HR teams that even with strong benefits (like your flexibility policy!), coverage gaps (especially during school breaks and sick days) are still a major reason employees miss work.
We’re working with companies like [Client A] and [Client B] to help working parents get fast access to backup care — without HR needing to manage anything manually.
Want me to send a quick overview of how it fits into your current benefits stack?
Notice the tone:
Casual but respectful
Insightful, not intrusive
Easy to say “yes” without pressure
Other Tips That’ll Make or Break You
Skip the mass mailer design. This should read like a one-off note, not a HubSpot drip.
Don’t attach anything. It triggers spam filters and commitment anxiety.
Short subject line > Clever one. Try “Saw your open roles,” “Parent benefit question,” or “Congrats on your award.”
Follow up—nicely. Day 3, Day 7, Day 10. Each follow-up should be shorter, not guiltier.
At Carter House Copy, we help startups like yours stop spinning your wheels with cold outreach that falls flat—and start sending sales messages that actually land. Whether you’re pitching to HR teams, employee benefit brokers, or both, we specialize in turning your founder brain into clear, compelling, credibility-packed messaging that gets replies (and revenue). From cold email sequences to full-blown GTM strategies, we know how to speak HR’s language —because we’ve been doing it for over a decade.
Ready to build outreach that gets you out of inbox purgatory? Book a call.
